I was reading an article online the other day, in the midst of a very dark moment in what seems to be an unrelenting depression, about a woman experiencing a completely unrelated dark period in her life… I’m not even sure how I happened to come across this woman’s article (although I tend to get lost in links, clicking from one page to another and venturing far beyond the original topic I was reading about). I was trying to find articles that would give me hope while searching for a light at the end of this dark tunnel of depression while facing inevitable consequences of ignorant, moronic decisions that were made blindly in this darkness. However, this woman radiated strength and hope in her words as she wrote of her tragic experience with losing her child at birth. I believe her goal was to share her journey with others who have also experienced the same loss due to the unrelenting horror of a condition known as Anencephaly (which, until I read her blog I had no knowledge of). This condition causes the fetus, and eventually the baby, to develop a brain stem yet no brain, nor top area of the skull. I could never imagine having to live through something so truly tragic, heart and soul crushing. Her experience was undoubtedly infinitely more difficult, accompanied by a much more immense amount of pain than the circumstances which I am going through. There is one thing I know for certain, though. And that fact is that God lead me to her words. They touched a part of my soul I hadn’t felt in ages. Her blog entry inspired me to create this website, my own personal online journal. So that I can finally make the transition from pen and paper journaling to sharing my life experiences with any and every one who may stumble upon them online. All in the hope that maybe, just maybe, some of my words might touch another aching soul scrolling through random articles in search of their own light at the end of their own never ending dark tunnel.
Here are a few excerpts from her blog that truly touched my soul (the specific sentences that reached out to me are formatted in bold text):
“People will say things to make me feel better like “This was God’s plan” – and I agree that God has all things under control, but I do not believe that God ever desired – or desires – these types of devastating things to happen to us. Sickness and death, pain and sorrow, are a result of sin. God never wanted us to have to endure these things. But because of the fall of Adam, we do – and so He promises to be with us through it if we believe in Jesus. And He promises that when this life is over, all who believe in His Son will live forever in heaven with no sickness or death, no pain or sorrow.”
“And my God…. He swooped me up as I walked out of that ultrasound, forgetting all my distance from him in the past, and loved me with a love so undefiled….He carried me with strong arms that refused to let go… He walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death, guiding me with the light of His Word and comfort in His promises and gave me peace in the midst of my storms…. and He is with me in the aftermath, patient and steady… calm and consistent…true and everlasting.“
And while I sit and wait, cry and smile, hurt and long for her… I don’t do it alone and I don’t do it without hope. My God is with me – and He is stronger than any scheme of hell, even when I am very weak.”
She also cited these two verses from His Word…
2 Corinthians 4:6-12 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
Romans 5:3-11 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Here’s her site that I stumbled upon… and touched my heart:
A proud momma to Pedro... a gorgeous Cane Corso, American Staffordshire Terrier baby. Raised in the middle of cornfields, barefoot, reading the Bible. Have grown to appreciate all of God’s land and any way I can stay creative on it... including writing!
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